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Back-to-School Brat Survival Kit
It's getting to be that time
of year again <boo!!! hiss!!!> - thoughts are turning
to school and uniforms and teachers and classes <pout/sulk>.
Summer is just too darn short (no, not Summer Nicole, I mean
the SEASON between spring and fall - like duh!!)
and the autumn back-to-school sales are showing up (Pablo
recently just happened to notice that everyone
is out buying new school uniforms). =:-O
As THEY get our uniforms in order,
sharpen pencils, buy new notebooks and worse yet <gasp! horrors!!>
new and improved math books, I feel all constrained
and stifled (like my collar is too starchy and tight!!! Help
help I'm being oppressed!!!). And so, I think what I need for
the start of school is a brand spanking new brat survival kit
or two. And maybe you need one too. The basic one should be
carried on or near your cute little brat bod at all times. The
deluxe one is meant for the well-appointed brat locker.
This list is not exhaustive and could be thought
of as the start of a thread BB4B (by brats for brats). I'm sure
you all have good ideas of what should go in here. I wanna hear
'em now!!! Hurry, hurry, before school starts!!! Also, I've
kinda taken the squirt gun/silly string/water balloon stuff
as a constant given. <giggling> Let's try and be original
Beeper. Should go off randomly, especially
in study hall and on exam days (a theatrical or musical performance
would be another good place for this). This will work best if
you're trying to annoy (not that I would of course)
Pablo. Beeping alarm watches set at 15 minute intervals are
a good substitute here. Do NOT answer or stop the beeper. The
trick is to look around like you're wondering whose it is too.
Advanced brats will want to hide it in the room itself (Heating
vents? Ceiling tiles?? The teacher's briefcase???) <neg>.
Gum. Sugary, hot pink (Bazooka is always
good or Hubba-Bubba) - the sticky pink stuff is great because
it is a kewl color, smells good, tastes sweet and has awesome
irritating noise potential (bubble popping, cracking, or just
chewing all noisy-like).
Hershey Kiss. (See larger kit below,
Liquid Paper Bottle. You have to make
this. Take a bottle (full, empty, whatever), empty it, then
rinse it clean with nail polish remover. You now have an approved-of
school supply that can be used to transport a very small item
to a knowing fellow brat. I use them to pass notes that are
all rolled up around the brush. Almost undetectable!!
Pens. No, I haven't gone over to the
dark (read: top) side here. I mean special
Fat fluorescent highlighters for
one (great because you could even say you were going to
study with them <g>). I like to highlight any spanking-related
words myself (note to moderators: Now I'm on topic, right?)
Permanent markers. Not that I'd
use them to draw on a paddle or cane or anything, let alone
to write 'Grow your own dope; plant a top!' on the bathroom
walls (that was Randi, I swear!!) <eg>. But
you could!! And you could write on yourself with
them too. Almost like a tattoo, the marks take days and
days to get off <g>. Marks-A-Lot now makes a 'brights'
pack that includes a hot pink, bright green, orange and
Fluorescent roller ball pens. For
homework, notes to friends, writing lines, doodling, whatever
(these are so kewl!!!!). OK, they aren't easy to
find, but man are they worth it (they are called 'Gelly
Rolls' by Sakura - I found them at a Carlton Cards). They
come in bunches of colors (all obnoxious as heck, but I
like the hot pink and fluorescent green best). Pablo has
yet to express a preference - he must like them all!! :-P
There is a very bright yellow (Summer?) but it's
even harder to read than the others <grin grin
grin>. They are so smooth and easy to write with (I'm
thinking about some brat with mucho lines here
- surely not me) and stand out beautifully against white.
A must have!!!! (IMHO).
Stickers. Whatever kind. Smiley faces
(putting a smiley next to a 'D' may confuse a dumb top into
thinking it's a 'B' - try OVER a 'D', get the signature and
then peel the sticker back off), frowny faces, whatever (see
Tasha or Mija for the limited edition neon orange 'Power to
the Brats' ones).
Deluxe Locker Kit
Chocolate. In any and all forms. For
emergency snacks (remember, there's no such thing as too much
sugar :-P) or quickie bribes (just so the other brats don't
squeal on ya <glancing over at 'lissa>).
Carbon Paper. If I hafta explain this
one you is no brat.
Dictionary. Yeah right - NOT. (Addition:
it was pointed out to me that some work with a penknife would
make a dictionary a great place to hide brat objects. I'm not
taking a position on this 'cause cutting up any book would put
me in the OTK one. Let's just say that this came as a suggestion
from a high office holder in this town. Without naming names
it was J*dg* P*tr*ch**.)
Musical Card. You know, the ones that
play 'Happy Birthday' or 'Jingle Bells'. These would be a mildly
bratty thing to send someone; they are rather annoying even
the first time through. But an advanced brat will take the button-sized
device out of the card, use a piece of tape to permanently secure
it on 'play' and hide it in the (math) classroom (inside a light
fixture or wall socket is a good place!!!). At first no one
will hear it, but then there will be a quiet moment. And like
a loudly ticking clock, once you hear the tinny music you cannot
not hear it. Trust me, your teacher will go NUTS looking for
it (practice your innocent and annoyed look NOW). The best thing
is, these little musical devices have been known to play for
as long as a week. <giggling madly> Oh, and extra
kudos to the first brat to find one that plays 'I'm Too Sexy'
for Petruchio's class.
Nail Polish. I
don't care if you are a het male brat!! <giggle> You don't
just need this stuff, you need this stuff!! The purple,
green and chartreuse polishes (let alone the neon yellow called
'sinful' I bought Saturday) are another way to make yourself
stand out from the crowd and express your individuality. Most
schools don't yet have a policy on nail color. Imagine
what good thoughts the headmaster will have of you
if you have the school's orange and green colors expressed on
your nails!!! He's bound to want to personally congratulate
you on your individuality.
Paddle Protectors. Another home-made
item. Made from cutting bound magazines in circle shapes.
Judge your own size ;). Insert in underwear prior to visiting
the headmaster/mistress's office. (Important Safety Note: obviously
you need to make sure that like the ones in Knax's stories this
is going to be an over the skirt/pants paddling. Otherwise
you'll only get yourself in deeper. And don't even think I'd
Police Line Tape. You know, that yellow
'Do Not Cross' stuff. Steal it from real crime scenes (or maybe
your dad is a police officer (???)) and then squirrel it away.
If you play your cards right you could close the whole school
for a day or two (this might require a chalked outline of a
three legged man too)!!!
Powerbook. Well, my Mac is
bratty, and PC and UNIX people seem to think all Mac owners
are brats (though that's just 'cause we've never had to read
the dumb manuals :-P). 'Sides, I waaaaaaannnnnt a Powerbook
all my own!!! <stamping foot for emphasis> Um, the one
with the active matrix screen and DVD player. Oh, and while
I'm dreaming, can I have a pony?
Rayban Wayfarer Sunglasses. For the
days you're just too cool for school.
Safety Pins. In case you get tired of
rolling your skirt. If you use one pin per pleat they are real
hard to detect. And if you get sent to the office for the skirt
being too short (it will look like it was altered by sewing)
you just stop at the restroom and take the pins back out. You
can now innocently claim that the teacher is picking
on you. ;)
Shoe Laces. In neon green, pink or yellow
(all three for that ever-so-special day!!). School dress codes
rarely specify the color of shoe laces, so this is a legal
(at least at present) way to individualize your uniform. A little
neon near your toes is bound to lift your mood, lighten your
feet, make you dance out of line. It may have the bonus of distracting
your classmates and even your school teacher!!!!
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