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The Way It Really Is
by Mija

Entry Nine: 24 September 1985. Rating: STILL Totally Mega Unfair.

I woke up early. It felt weird not to have my pj bottoms on. My bottom still felt hot to me but in the mirror the red was mostly all gone. My pj bottoms were folded at the end of my bed. They must come in while I'm asleep. Great.

We went to church and I was really really good. In fact, I was really good all day, not going outside or anything. I just sat in the corner of my room and pretended I was reading Nancy Drew. Really I was reading 'Mandy', but that's my sister's book now so I didn't want anyone to know. She never reads anyway unless I read to her. I told her not to come in my room and she didn't.

But after dinner when it was time for TV, my dad turned to me and told me to go upstairs and get ready for bed and wait for him.

I was totally surprised because I thought he'd forgotten. By the time I had my night clothes on I started crying again and sat on the end of my bed. It was just so wrong for me to have to get spanked again. Even if I hadn't told my mom it should be over now. And I HAD told her so it's all worse and no one believes me.

I would run away except they'd find me and spank me again. :(

My dad came in and sat on my bed with me. He said I'd been a good girl today and he was glad, that it was his job as my dad to make sure I was a good girl and a good example for my sister, blahblahblahblahwhocaresjustkeepnoddingokay?

And that he was going to SPANK me AGAIN now so that I'd REMEMBER that. (Okay so I heard that part.) I tried to imagine bad things happening to him and my mom. But I shouldn't do that.

I promised to be good and asked him to please not spank again. But he still pulled me over his lap and spanked me again with my pjs and panties down. He used his hand but it felt worse than the paddle because I think my bottom is sore even though I can't see any bruises except one. I cried a little but was pretty brave.

By the time he finished I was wishing that both of them were dead and my sister and I were orphans. It's a sin to wish that but it's their fault because they made me wish it. Besides, I prayed I wouldn't get spanked and I still did anyway.

Then I had to go to bed early again. Even though it was still light out. But he said as long as I was good, I wouldn't get more spankings this week. Which made me glad even though I'm still mad at him. Even HE must have decided that every day for a week was unfair. Or maybe he figured out that I'd told my mom already.

After she went to bed, my sister snuck out of her room into my bed. I showed her my bottom and told her all about what really happened. We decided from now on we'd tell if we were going to stay the night at the dinner table so no one could not remember.

She's the coolest person in this house for sure. I promised her that if mom and dad die I'll take care of her and me.

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